Why are we celebrating, you ask? Because you are you…and you are perfect. You are unique and you are special, in fact, you are one of a kind. The only you there ever was, and will ever be. A unique culmination of all that you are – both irreplicable and irreplaceable. You deserve to celebrate you, each and every day.
To clarify, none of us is “perfect” in the ego-sense of “flawlessness” – but perfect for who we came here to be. Our perfection comes from the knowledge that we are a deliberate and unique blend of characteristics that are one of a kind – that we are the only person on earth, that has ever had this identical chemistry. So, once again, you are perfect.
Not me…
Yes, you. Everybody. Each of us is born perfect – with a deliberate tapestry of personal characteristics, and inborn gifts. Every aspect of you was planned for you, and you only – you are a perfect culmination, and nobody can take that away. Certain aspects can be covered up, hidden, ignored, or temporarily abandoned – but not eliminated. We always have the choice to restore ourselves to the perfection of our original design – but many of us are either resistant or unaware of how to accomplish this.
Our interpretation…
The focus of our individual human experience is in growth and learning, it is why we initially came here. And in this realm of duality and free will – the way that our ego, our individual self, learns…is thorough evaluation. A common trap many of us fall into is in failing to recognize that we are individuals – what is right for me isn’t necessarily right for you. Yet in our ignorance, denial or avoidance of this truth, we often find difficulties in maintaining healthy relationships with other people. Most of us naturally gravitate toward selling others on our opinions – assuming that everyone should benefit from our experience. It isn’t generally considered that being unique creations, each of us has different intentions and purposes. However unfortunate, this is a revolving cycle we learn in childhood and continue, in one way or another, throughout our lives.
One size doesn’t fit all…
Rather than accept others free will of choice and individuality, we tend to relate to others as if they were us – expecting them to live through our values and beliefs. This process is also applicable in reverse, and our caregivers in childhood often introduce us to this pattern by example – in instances where, for whatever reason, we felt criticized or devalued for behaviors or characteristics that they deemed as “unacceptable”. In many instances, parents regard their children, not as unique individuals, but as a reflection of their parenting. Everyone wants their rear their child in the direction of success – but, success is arbitrary. We can only guess, knowing nothing of anyone’s journey, except our own – yet, knowledge of this fact often doesn’t cure the temptation to expect others to uphold our standards…and vice versa.
We are who we are…
Although our innate attributes and personal values are hard-wired into us – it is our choice in how they are internally interpreted. Our traits are mere aspects of us, neither good nor bad – but, our personal assessment of the individual qualities we exude will fundamentally determine our sense of self-worth. In childhood, it is common for us to relinquish our own knowledge of ourself – in lieu of the opinions of others, especially our parents. Being new on earth, it seems logical to concede to a common misconception – that because they are older, they know what is best for us. Although they love us and try their very best – its impossible for anyone to accurately gauge, from a perspective that isn’t their own.
Looking within, we tend to pick apart and focus on each aspect of ourselves individually, comparing our various components against our ideal – but it is the whole of us, that is most valuable and often overlooked. It is not only unfair to compare ourselves to others, it really doesn’t matter anyway. Realistically, we can love everybody – but are only able to control ourselves. We have an obligation to identify and uphold our truth – to advocate for our personal values and give ourselves the love and respect we deserve. It is in acknowledging who we are, and accepting ourselves, flaws and all – that we are able to shine.
But you don’t understand…
It may be difficult for us to see ourselves as “perfect” when we have full disclosure, knowing the history of our less admirable behavior. After all, over the years, we have likely accumulated a string of experiences, that have proved otherwise. However, it is only with our acceptance of a belief, that facilitates its manifestation into our reality. And, the stronger we identify with an innate characteristic, the more we personally equate “shame” with any criticism relating to it – resulting in an increased propensity for adverse reverberation. When we sense rejection or devaluation, in relation to a deeply personal aspect of ourselves, it can reap havoc on our psyche – morphing our most treasured innate gifts, into our deepest source of shame. Inadvertently, we assume that we are fundamentally flawed because what we had felt was a uniquely special part of us – was proven to be “wrong” or “inadequate”, and often resulting in disastrously low levels of self-worth.
The above paragraph is not an excuse, and isn’t to say that we are not responsible for our behavior, or the consequences of it – rather, that our past behavior isn’t necessarily indicative of “who we are”. We naturally behave in accordance with our assessment of who we are. If we believe we are worthless, our behavior and choices will reflect that. However, we always have the choice to revisit our underlying characteristics with a fresh perspective. In our current capacity, we are free to release our attachment to any assessments we adopted, with regard to an aspect of our being. And with this acceptance, our resistance relating to it will simply dissolve – restoring us back to our original state of perfection.
Happiness is an inside job…
As I see it, the majority of people are not unhappy due to any characteristic they may, or not have – rather, its because they continue to search outside of themselves for approval. Everything we have ever needed to be the person we came here to be, and fulfill our unique life purpose, remains inside of us – waiting patiently for us to realize our value, so we can express ourselves boldly and confidently into the world. Nobody else is qualified to assess us, because we are the only one who has access to the entirety of our being. Despite what anyone thinks of us, we are all perfect for the mission we came here to fulfill – and it isn’t necessary for anyone else to confirm that for us.
In my opinion, there seems to be a fundamental flaw in human understanding that prevents us from reaping the optimal joy from life – we tend to share a common preoccupation toward competition and comparison. Rather than expressing gratitude for the abundance of our lives, we glimpse around to see how we compare to others – to gauge our satisfaction, by how we relate to others. However, the only fair comparison in life – is the progress we make toward our personal growth. True joy is found, not by any comparison to others – but in asserting our devotion and efforts in the direction of our desires.
Perception of perfection…
The magic we contribute to the world is not in our perfection – rather, it is revealed in our acceptance of ourselves and others. You are perfect, as am I – both perfect, yet totally different. As humans, we are not the same, and each of us was designed with a unique blend of characteristics that make us who we are. These traits, in and of themselves, are largely neutral – yet deeply personal. It is only through our own evaluation of them, in accepting the opinions of others, that they have been ranked and prioritized – possibly leading us to unnecessary insecurities about ourself. We are not “less than” because somebody else believes that we are, yet our acceptance of that belief – will almost always encourage us to behave “as if” it were true. At least in my experience, no one naturally comes to the conclusion that something about us is “wrong” or “shameful”, without outside interference – it just doesn’t happen. The most egregious personal error we can make for ourselves – is allowing the feedback we receive from others to be criteria, in determining the assessment we have of ourselves.
Option 3…
We have a natural instinct toward one of two methods of reacting to conflict or criticism – either defending ourselves or accepting the opinions of others as fact, without any consideration of an alternative choice. That being, we can respect the opinions of others, even about us, without allowing ourselves to be personally affected by them. Despite our natural inclination to be pulled in and “do something” in the face of judgment, it isn’t necessary for us to become reactive or defensive. Their behavior is their choice, how we respond is ours. We are not required to participate in every disagreement we are invited to engage in – we have every right to respectfully decline. It isn’t always easy, but it is definitely possible to detach from taking responsibility for anyone else’s opinion – aside from our own. A pivotal understanding is often overlooked in our longing for love, connection, and acceptance – the realization that anyone else’s assessment of us…has nothing to do with us.
Everyone’s opinion is personal and dependent on their own experiences, preferences, and opinions. We have a responsibility solely to ourselves and can only satisfy our obligation – by being true to our authentic self. Our responsibility toward others is strictly in our kindness and acceptance of them – we are not obligated to adhere to anyone else’s expectations of us.
We already know…
At the depths of our soul, we know who we really are – granting us the sole authority in determining our value. Because we are the only ones that have a true understanding of who we are.
Many of us have bought into the opinions of others and believed what we were told about ourselves – that we weren’t enough. It wasn’t apparent to us at the time, that their criticism of us – was due to their own insecurities, and had little to do with us. Give yourself a break, we didn’t know any better. For most of us, we were raised in our societal tradition of child-rearing. And were probably reminded often, and from an early age, that we were to do as we were told and learn from our elders. It was reinforced over and over, that their years of experience, was evidence that they knew more about life than we did at the time – and that our contributions were inferior.
Some of us brought these insecurities with us, into adulthood. Many of us never fully outgrew the conditioning we established, in order to cope with the powerlessness of dependency, and survive the trauma of childhood. Granted, at the time, we didn’t know any better – so, it was natural to blindly accept the labels we were given, by the adults entrusted with our care. Yet, even as adults, it doesn’t usually occur to us to reinvestigate our beliefs.
A new outlook…
Currently, we have many years of life experience – and understand much better than we did as children. The experience of life has been a great teacher – we now understand that our parents don’t know everything, and are simply humans that are doing the best they can. Also, we have become more familiar with the human condition – and our natural inclination toward judgments, agendas, moodiness, opinions…and many other human qualities. In fact, despite their long term effects on us – many of the moments that define our lives were not intended as such. We are individuals and it is impossible to predict the interpretation someone else, especially a child – will take away from an encounter.
At this point, none of that really matters. The point is the same as it was in the first paragraph. You are perfect! Or at the very least, you have the capacity to release any assessments you picked up along your journey through life – to restore yourself to the perfection you once were and can become again. You are free to release the baggage you collected, as a result of your mistaken belief – that you were not enough. Now that you know you are perfect, you are granted a fresh new beginning – one that is free from the entrapments of limiting beliefs. And from here, you have the freedom to continue, unencumbered, on the journey toward your own life purpose.
I would love to hear your story in the comment section below. Or, click on the button below to join us on our journey of self-discovery.
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