The Joy of Being

Life is a personal journey. Realistically, the only fair comparison – is where we are currently, in relation to our starting point. As long as we track our progress against ourselves, and not anyone else…we can continue to be satisfied with our own accomplishments while offering support to others for theirs.

The best example I have of this premise is with my personal experiences with the students I have coached – particularly, the ones who struggle to accomplish physical feats that many of us take for granted. I have had the pleasure of working with differently-abled children and adults for the past several years. I am so incredibly grateful to have a job where I get to be a facilitator in the empowerment of kids, to overcome certain physical obstacles in their lives.

In all fairness, I love coaching all gymnastics – and over the years, have enjoyed working with almost all levels and ages. Assisting my students toward their personal goals, and witnessing their trials and triumphs, has always represented an incredible joy for me. Yet, what differs between typical kids and the ones who face profound physical challenges, is the impact the skills have on their everyday lives. Of course, it is thrilling to share the joy of a student, as they earn a medal on the top spot of the podium at a competition – but, it’s unlikely to have the same life-long impact of teaching a child skills that enable them to feel confident to engage in everyday life. Some of these kids struggle with and ultimately reap tremendous pride and sense of accomplishment, from seemingly “simple” activities – such as the ability to run, climb, jump, play, or even to fall safely. Personally, I have discovered no greater reward in life – than to be afforded the opportunity to teach children skills, that enable them the normalcy to comfortably participate in standard activities with their peers.

One child, in particular, has become an incredible source of inspiration for myself – and everyone else who has worked with her.

The day we met…

I first met her a couple of years ago, on a Saturday morning. To avoid any complications from an abrupt staffing switch – we always plan a couple of weeks to transition our one-on-one students from instructor to instructor. This child had been working with my niece, who was planning an extended absence – so I was asked to take over her lessons.

I suppose, Saturday mornings at our gym, are pretty much the same as with any early morning activity that involves children. A lobby comprised of mostly sleep-deprived parents hurriedly pulling off their children’s shoes and socks, before shoveling them through the gym doors. Disposable “Starbucks” coffee cups are a familiar staple in the attempts of many parents, to jump-start their morning routine. As an observer, it seems that most everyone who arrives for the first class of the morning – is on auto-pilot as they rushing through the routine of preparing their children for class. Many are so intently focused on the time, and being prepared when they are called in, that they barely notice anything else that is going on around them. However, that would all change when she showed up.

I had heard stories about her, many stories. But, as I would quickly discover – words, any words, are insufficient to adequately convey the impression she leaves on the people she touches. Her intrigue is in the signature and unmistakable energy she naturally exudes, one that isn’t translatable by mere language and can only be felt. So, although I had heard many wonderful stories about her – I was unprepared for the actual impact this young girl would eventually have on me.

That particular morning, she entered the gym lobby accompanied by her father. The instant she spotted my niece, this little girl’s face simply “lit up”. She displayed a wide and impromptu smile that spread across her face, just before she delightfully called out my niece’s name as she ran to her with open arms – her excited demeanor captured my attention far more than the limp that accompanied her movement. And, it wasn’t only me who was visibly moved by this sweet and genuine greeting. Her presence seemed to interrupt the monotony of the morning and prompt a wave of smiles from the parents of the other kids who showed up for classes that morning. However, what was far more memorable to me than the obvious glow of this child…was the effect she had on my niece.

Although I had been close to my niece for much of the 25 years since she had been born, the heartfelt connection she shared with this child – was unlike any other interaction I had ever witnessed. Not to say that she is not close to all of her students, she is…but it was obvious that this girl had deeply penetrated her heart. Over the past couple of years working with her, I too, have come to realize a deep and impenetrable bond with this amazing child.

The joy of being…

Over the time I have spent with her, what has struck me so dramatically about this child, is not only her bright and lively spirit – but, rather, her uncompromising and supportive nature. One cannot help but notice the joy present during every moment of her lesson. I admire her value for the present, and the ability she has, to fully enjoy the process. Her celebration of incremental accomplishments toward her broader goals keeps her vibration high and leaves little mental space for disempowering thoughts.

For the most part, she is content to focus on her goals and seems to have little interest in comparing herself to anyone else. Occasionally, she has a moment of frustration and needs to be reminded of the unique abilities we all have. But, almost always…she is proud of her own achievements, while also being a staunch supporter of the accomplishments of others.

A blatantly obvious example of this is with her interaction with her younger brother. At 4 years old, he began taking a standard class in the same facility as his sister. He is a typical “boy”, both energetic and impressively agile – a stark contrast to the physical challenges that his sister faces. Although in many ways, he has already surpassed her physical skillset, she hardly seems to notice and remains focused on encouraging him through his own progress toward his goals. As far as I can tell, with regard to her sibling – she has never shown any signs of jealousy or “why me”. In fact, she has nothing short of pride in him – as she can often be witnessed, excitedly waving her arms, as she enthusiastically cheers for him from across the room.

I have observed a commonality with the rare instances where she does slip into temporary self-depreciation. Invariably, these are the times where she notices the abilities of other kids…and compares them, against herself. It is only when her focus gets diverted away from herself and her goals – that she momentarily delves into, what she sees as, the disadvantages of being physically different. Instantly, her perspective shifts from the usual delight she exudes in working toward her personal goals – to, “why can’t I do that?” or “how come it is so easy for them”.

I totally get it – she has to work extra hard to accomplish the same feats that other children seamlessly sail through. On occasion, the “unfairness” of her physical abilities in relation to other children her age – seems to both catch her off guard and hit her really hard. In these rare instances, she becomes hyper-aware of her limitations and visibly discouraged by her physical challenges. For that brief moment, until she snaps back into realizing her individual accomplishments, she falls into feelings of physical inferiority – due to the other children her age whizzing past her on the obstacle courses, or hurling themselves around at ease.

But, just as quickly as she slips into a momentary attitude of defeat – her normal demeanor of cheer and ambition re-emerge. After a quick chat to remind her that we all have strengths and weaknesses and that there is nobody on earth quite like her – the bright light within her begins to shine once again. She goes right back to gauging her success individually – by comparing her experience against the only thing that is actually relavant…herself. And reaping joy from the feelings “she” gets from accomplishing “her” goals – and no one else’s.

Despite the fact that “in theory”, I am her instructor…she has taught me way more than I could ever teach her. Yeah, I have assisted her in improving her physical agility – working with her to gain strength, improve flexibility, and even push past her fear of heights. But in my opinion, those are trivial and pale in comparison to the life lessons I have learned – simply from being around her. She is a shining example of who I aspire to be – someone who is motivated by her goals, and secure in who she is and the unique gifts she has to offer to the world. Someone who is not only loving and supportive of others – but also hard-working, dedicated, and focused on striving toward accomplishing her personal goals. And, as long as she remains focused only on herself and her goals, I can only assume that she will continue to motivate and inspire, not only myself…but everyone who is fortunate enough to cross paths with her.