A Family Tradition of Secrecy

Why didn’t you tell me…

“You never asked”, was the predictable reply, following an organic revelation of newly disclosed information. For example, it wasn’t until my great uncle, Unk, passed away – through funeral home whispers, and helping to clean out his apartment, that I learned snippets about his life.

Wait, really…

Until this point, I had only known what was outwardly apparent as he attended holidays at my grandmother’s house. An impeccably dressed, yet a quiet older gentleman who took pride in both his appearance and the homemade plum pudding that accompanied him with each visit – come to think of it, I’m not sure that he ever caught on that no one really cared for it. I can only guess it was to spare his feelings – but I recall how the adults would all rave about it, as they reluctantly forced a bite into their mouths, animatedly faking enjoyment, before scraping the bulk of it in the trash. Apparently, he played piano in the Ozzy Nelson orchestra…who knew!

Weaver Writing…

And her impressive status as a famous calligrapher was only revealed to me, during the design of my aunt Gwennie’s website – it was only in the research to gather a bio, that I discovered her popularity. In fact, her aversion of self-promotion made it quite difficult to construct her website. I vaguely remember attending an exhibit at Strathmore, where her work was displayed but had not thought much of it. But, imagine my surprise when I googled her name – and flooding the search results, were various websites of other calligraphers, teaching her invented font. Unbeknownst to me, she was featured in several calligraphy magazines, as well as being a well-respected instructor. Although she invented at least three calligraphic alphabets, ones that are taught by others in the calligraphy community – in her eyes, it was no big deal. When I questioned her with “why didn’t you tell me?”, she just shrugged her shoulders.

It wasn’t until I happened upon promotional material relating to it, that I discovered her candidacy for office…

Although I spend a lot of time with my sister, it wasn’t until I volunteered to help her on her campaign for State Senate – that I realized the extent, of her impressive resume. As I listened to her pitch ideas to would-be constituents, I learned more about her – than the forty-five years of being her sister. And even then, her experiences were only revealed, as they were relevant to the individual she was addressing. I was in awe of, not only the scope of her accomplishments but how she was able to relate to so many of the people we encountered.

Accompanied her on a “canvassing”, was my first time hearing about many of the projects she had headed. As I stood beside her on a front porch, she seemed to identify with each issue that concerned this lady. Her accolades came out in normal conversation, as they related to this person’s plight. Unbeknownst to me, and with no fanfare, my sister had been involved with several movements – and even created non-profits to benefit the marginalized populations. Learning much of this, only moments earlier, I was still flabbergasted as we made our way back to the car – after accidentally discovering the vastness of her accomplishments. She acted casually, as we headed back down the sidewalk, oblivious to the newfound revelations, I had just now learned. So, with my mouth agape in awe, I twisted my head as I looked at her in amazement – a single and knowing word escaped my mouth “really!”, to which she shrugged her shoulders, and replied with a questioning tone “What!”.

Family tradition…

These are just a few, of the many instances, where I have accidentally discovered the accomplishments of a relative – ones that other people might be proud to highlight, or at least share. But, I guess you could say that my family has never really been comfortable with self-promotion. A family tradition that I personally, am finding hard to break.